So I haven't written anything at all in awhile. Unless you consider comments on Myspace. Facebook, Gaia. writing. Which I myself do not. A lot in my life is changing. I am a 21 year old college drop out, with what seems to be a dead-end job. But yet some how, I have this overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Why? I have no idea. I know that I am not the most successful person in the world. Nor do I feel like I ever will be. I have piles of bills, a crappy car thats on it's last legs, a father who does nothing but put me down, friends that seem to be done with me. Yet through all this cloudiness and smog of crap, I do have 2 golden beacons in my life. The first is my baby brother who is amazing. The other my beautiful girlfriend. She is the real reason I keep the smile on my face. I try so hard to be successful for her. Some day I hope to call her my wife, but who is gonna want to be married to a Delivery guy? Especially when she is such a successful artist. I know that she is gonna do very well in this world, and it seems like at times tho I don't want to; I hold her back. This frightens me. The last thing I wanna do is stagnate some one else. This cesspool that I call a career and life is not something I would wish upon anyone. I feel the longer she stays around the more the filth will begin to spread to her. NO! I will not lose her I will continue to try and crawl and scrape my way outta this pool of filth. Not unlike the first land animals who crawled from the waters to live on land. I can be successful, and I will be. As everyone who reads this as my witness. I will make my life better. Even if it kills me!